Tuesday, February 28, 2017


Salah satu pemandangan yang senantiasa menghangatkan hati adalah perubahan rupa. Wajah dengan tatapan cemas yang perlahan melembut setelah orang yang ditunggunya tiba. Raut yang mulanya melekuk ke bawah perlahan tertarik ke atas. Dunia yang mulanya muram perlahan tiada. Sama halnya ketika melihat orang yang jalan bergegas kemudian mendapatkan pesan yang membuatnya tersenyum. Langkahnya perlahan melambat, seolah tak ingin melewatkan hal-hal kecil dalam hidup ini ketika ia melangkah terlalu cepat. Tetes air di dedaunan kala hujan telah reda, kucing kecil yang tengah bermain dan manusia lain dengan kehidupannya masing-masing.

Mahasiswa bergerombol. Tingkat satu, pikirnya. Muda mudi yang tampak tenggelam dalam dunia mereka sendiri. Tawa lepas. Kemudian wajah-wajah serius di perpustakaan menjelang waktu ujian. Kala semesta mewujud dalam soal-soal ujian yang menentukan hidup beberapa tahun ke depan. IPK tinggi, melamar pekerjaan impian dan melanjutkan langkah menuju masa depan. Hanya saja hidup kadang tak sesederhana itu. Perlu banyak improvisasi dan bahkan jika semuanya berjalan sesuai rencana, kosong kadang tetap menyapa.

Kenangan? Perlahan menjadi ingatan samar. Orang datang silih berganti. Komunitas berbeda dari yang menundukan pandangan hingga cium pipi. Ia pernah menjadi bagian dari keduanya. Sudahkah ia terlalu banyak berubah? Sudahkah ia lupa tentang apa yang pernah ia inginkan?

Tak ada jawaban.

Monday, February 20, 2017

The School

I thought by joining the school, it would give me a peace of mind, but boy, I could not have been more wrong. Compatibility is one of the issues and yesterday, one of the presenters said that there is a research that said the introduction system ends with split due to lack of communication. In this case, mentoring system may be better since you have a homogeneous group in the system, while the school allows heterogeneous people to enter the system. Anyway, despite all those things, what important to have a pure intention: to do it the right way.

If you want to test whether you are religious or not, try to go abroad where you are a minority. See whether you have the courage to do strange things such as finding a corner to pray, to say no when people offer you alcohol or to be picky about food. See whether you will still do all that when your crush ask you out. When you able to do that, you have this feeling of protectiveness of doing things right and also a soft spot for minority. So I am kind of done with dating, while I am still not sure about the school mechanism.

Wednesday, February 08, 2017

The Inevitable

"You know that you are only avoiding the inevitable, right?"
"Do you think being happy is wrong?"
"Yes, if it means you only sharpen a knife that will make you bleed deeper ..."
"But if I stop it now, I will be sad, while no one know what may happen in the future."
"You are only entertaining the impossible."
"But that's the great thing of possibility, right? A space for hope."
"Did not you learn anything from probability, some things are meant to have a low success rate. That's statistic."
"And there is always someone who hit the jackpot against all the odds."
"And you expect to hit the jackpot?"
"Not necessarily, no. The thing is if I stop right now, I know it is going to break me, while if I continue, there is a possibility to have a different end."
"Yeah, one day of crying versus months of crying, sounds very promising my dear."
"Or months of being happy and one day of crying since I know that things should end that way."
"I am not sure whether you are a genius or a total idiot."
"Let's say I am a dreamer."

La La Land

I never thought that the word love can be so devastating but there it was ...

Mia: "I'm always gonna love you."
Seb: "I'm always gonna love you, too."

And then they chose to go to their separate paths.

Darn, you La La Land, you made me cry!

Saturday, February 04, 2017

Recommendation Letter

To whom it may concern.

I thank you for your effort and courage in submitting a proposal. I really appreciate it.

However, I am afraid I could not get you on my pokemon team. I think that your ideal pokemon training is different than ours. In that case, I recommend you to join another team of your benefit so you may develop your talent in a better ecosystem.

I believe this is my team's final decision. I wish you success on your future as a pokemon trainer.

Kind regards

Thursday, February 02, 2017


"Am I allowed to say no for the lack of chemistry?"
"But how do you know whether both of you have chemistry or not?"
"By talking ... to see whether it may work or not, to see whether I can be myself around him, to be silly ..."
"I am not sure you can do it through this path but there is no harm in trying."


"... What does that mean-- 'tame'?" asked the Little Prince. "It is an act too often neglected," said the fox. ...