Thursday, August 27, 2015

Introvert

Is it legal to be an introvert in Indonesia? When things go wrong, people use to say 'please be more considerate, maybe the person has a problem' or 'you have to understand people better.' Why is it always about pleasing others for the sake of being polite or being younger? Sometimes I am just so freaking tired of the pretending collective community, while in the reality it is mostly about 'look at me' and 'please like my post.' In certain degree, it fits me well since most people like to talk about themselves rather than listening and thus, it is easy to be invisible. But sometimes I miss being asked about what I want or what I think.

Friday, August 14, 2015

Dreamer

I live mostly by following my heart. I have change my interest(s) number of time and this tendency may not end in the near future. As somebody once told me, it is okay to change interest as long that I am happy. Does it mean I have no ambition? The thing is I do not think ambition is the right notion. What important is to do things right. Since I want to be in the academia, I want to have nice publications and ecosystem that can challenge me. On the other hand, I am very much a development scholar. It is important to be connected to change (or in most cases, policy makers). Sometimes balancing the two means having a messy schedule and interacting with people that can give me headache, which absorb my happiness. 

Does it mean I have to detach my heart with the current interests and find something more fun? 

Wednesday, August 05, 2015

Kemala

"Apakah kamu bahagia?"
Kemala terdiam mendengar pertanyaan itu. Ia menemukan bahwa ia mudah sekali bahagia untuk hal-hal kecil. Kucing liar di jalan, senyuman orang di kereta pagi ataupun bos yang baik hati. Tapi tak jarang ia merasa dunia ini begitu muram. Segala hal yang ia lakukan berada di tempat yang tidak semestinya dan ia mengambil banyak keputusan yang kemudian disesalinya. Ia merasa hampa tanpa adrenalin yang memacunya untuk mencapai sesuatu.

Ia tahu hidup ini bukan tentang adrenalin dan kepuasan ketika berhasil mencapai sesuatu tapi tentang keseimbangan. Tapi kata-kata selalu lebih mudah daripada kenyataan.

Thursday, July 30, 2015

Irama

Kadang sesuatu bukan mengenai benar atau salah, 
tapi mengenai irama
Tentang bagaimana kau bisa berjalan bersama
tanpa membuat yang lainnya resah
Tentang minum kopi sekali sehari
atau menuangkan pikiran lewat ilustrasi
Senang karena saling memahami

Saturday, July 11, 2015

Why

Our paths need to intersect
if there would be nothing between us
Do you have to act like you care
while you never bother to say hey

That same post
Maybe it was nothing

Tuesday, June 30, 2015

Kemala

"Rangga ..."
"Eh Kemala, apa kabar? O iya perkenalkan ini istri saya, Kinanti"
"Kinan," ucap gadis berambut panjang itu sambil menjabat tangan Kemala.
"Mala," balas Kemala.

Kemala terus memutar adegan tadi siang. Ia merasa bodoh. Tak seharusnya ia menyapa Rangga. Tidak tanpa seseorang di sisinya. Tidak karena ada perempuan lain di samping Rangga. Tidak karena merasa terlihat sangat bahagia bersama. Seharusnya ia diam saja tadi siang tapi mulutnya bereaksi lebih dahulu dari otaknya.

Ia bodoh. Titik.

Malam

Malam yang tak pekat
Gelap yang tak  lelap
Resah yang tak kunjung enyah
Entah

Aku tak tahu apakah irisan pernah ada
atau hanya sebuah imaji fana
Hingga akhirnya tiada
Ditelan sang kala

Thursday, June 04, 2015

Dia

... mengetahui ada seseorang yang menemanimu bekerja
di ruang berbeda
saat mentari tak lagi ada
rasanya menyenangkan
aku suka dengan caranya yang biasa
masuk tanpa paksa