Thursday, August 27, 2015


Is it legal to be an introvert in Indonesia? When things go wrong, people use to say 'please be more considerate, maybe the person has a problem' or 'you have to understand people better.' Why is it always about pleasing others for the sake of being polite or being younger? Sometimes I am just so freaking tired of the pretending collective community, while in the reality it is mostly about 'look at me' and 'please like my post.' In certain degree, it fits me well since most people like to talk about themselves rather than listening and thus, it is easy to be invisible. But sometimes I miss being asked about what I want or what I think.

Friday, August 14, 2015


I live mostly by following my heart. I have change my interest(s) number of time and this tendency may not end in the near future. As somebody once told me, it is okay to change interest as long that I am happy. Does it mean I have no ambition? The thing is I do not think ambition is the right notion. What important is to do things right. Since I want to be in the academia, I want to have nice publications and ecosystem that can challenge me. On the other hand, I am very much a development scholar. It is important to be connected to change (or in most cases, policy makers). Sometimes balancing the two means having a messy schedule and interacting with people that can give me headache, which absorb my happiness. 

Does it mean I have to detach my heart with the current interests and find something more fun? 

Wednesday, August 05, 2015


"Apakah kamu bahagia?"
Kemala terdiam mendengar pertanyaan itu. Ia menemukan bahwa ia mudah sekali bahagia untuk hal-hal kecil. Kucing liar di jalan, senyuman orang di kereta pagi ataupun bos yang baik hati. Tapi tak jarang ia merasa dunia ini begitu muram. Segala hal yang ia lakukan berada di tempat yang tidak semestinya dan ia mengambil banyak keputusan yang kemudian disesalinya. Ia merasa hampa tanpa adrenalin yang memacunya untuk mencapai sesuatu.

Ia tahu hidup ini bukan tentang adrenalin dan kepuasan ketika berhasil mencapai sesuatu tapi tentang keseimbangan. Tapi kata-kata selalu lebih mudah daripada kenyataan.


"... What does that mean-- 'tame'?" asked the Little Prince. "It is an act too often neglected," said the fox. ...