Wednesday, April 30, 2014

The Others

Today I went to the expat center to take my new resident permit. The first person asked me to show my birth certificate and when I told her that I had been here before, she asked me to meet her colleague since I was already in the system. So there I was waiting for fifteen minutes because I was not in the check list. I am new, but I also old. I am familiar with many things, but the documents do not say so. Thus, I have to wait. My experience reminded me to one of the stories in The Sociology of Monsters on being allergic to onion. To get a hamburger without an onion means to wait longer simply because you create a mess out of a system. I think I am quite okay of waiting, I am more afraid of being alienated from my self.

I don't know why I shifted my subject from math to social science. Or in general sometime I wonder where my home is. Sometimes being in Indonesia is just too much; too many questions and too many people ordering me what to do. Being back in the Netherlands give me fresh air. It feels almost home. 

Monday, April 21, 2014


The thing is ... I don't know where my home is anymore. Whenever I have to return to the Netherlands, I feel a bit anxious. I miss being with my family or hang out with my colleagues in ITB. On the other hand, I also miss my life in Eindhoven where I can be who ever I want to be without worry what people may think of me. I miss my friends, library, sport centrum and the office. Things that I cannot get in Indonesia. But I also miss being involve in something. So I don't know ...

I think I am a bit lost ... I am not sure where I want to be or on the opposite, I know that I want to have a career in Indonesia since it enables me to be entangled with a community but being here and there is difficult.

Sunday, April 06, 2014

Medical Anthropology

I am still thinking to write a proposal about medical anthropology ... I am interested in elaborating the idea of comparison ... taking a bit idea from Strathern, Tyler and probably Deleuze. Like many other things that I did in my life, probably, my interest in medical anthropology was for a wrong reason. But what is the right reason in science? That you're good at it, that it is linear with your background, because you know that you can do something good with it or because you met a person that can inspire you? Until now, I am still wandering the place where I can fit in. I've been wandering around a lot. Changing direction whenever I want simply because I can ...

Probably, it is time to settle down. To invest rather than to runaway ....


"... What does that mean-- 'tame'?" asked the Little Prince. "It is an act too often neglected," said the fox. ...