Friday, January 06, 2017

Soliloquy

"Jadi sekarang kamu mau apa?"
"I don't know. Everything feels like falling apart, nothing seems right."
"Come on, it's not that bad. You have your degree, you still have a job, an income, you are still the privilege one, living so long with a scholarship. It's payback time."
"You know that I got the scholarship extension after the system has been criticized for its low success rate, don't you? So it's nothing such as free lunch. It's always quid pro quo."
"So what do you want?"
"I am thinking to do a post-doc. Leaving this bloody situation."
"Running away again?"
"What if being a gypsy is the only survival mechanism I can live with? My only way to be happy ... Contrary to what I say whenever I try to convince myself to stay, I cannot do it."
"..."
"Even the last movie I watched was crappy."
"AADC? Oh boy, you are hopeless."
"Am I? Maybe. I do not know. I mean seriously, after 9 years without news, he was able to get Cinta back with no sweat. The reason he returned to Indonesia was to meet his mother and even then, he was the one who left Cinta and made Cinta traveled all the way to the US. True, Rangga gave Cinta space to think but I don't think she deserves someone who treated her that way."
"Are you familiar with the term 'fiction'? The actors were being paid to do what the director said. Unless you want to make it personal ..."
"No, it's nothing like that. It's crap, everything is crappy. Career, love and even the movie."
"And all that give you a justification to look for a post doc?"
"I think so."

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Trying to get on plane again, eh? Do circle around the globe while living under the radar? It might some good.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, and repeat the cycle everytime I return to Indonesia

Jakarta

Satu dekade telah berlalu semenjak aku bekerja di kota itu. "Aku tak mau bekerja di sana lagi," batinku. Rupanya satu dekade adala...