Thursday, June 16, 2016

The Materiality of Love

"It is easy to accept one's bright side, but would you able to accept his dark side as well? Chemistry is not only about having butterflies in your stomach, but it is also about being able to accept things that make you uncomfortable while making the other part comfortable. There is no perfect match."
"Probably because you do not look hard enough."
"Do you have someone that you love deep enough but you cannot stand to be around them for a long period?"
"Yeah, I get your point. You may fall to the idea to have someone who understand you, but you must remember that both of you are different persons that do things differently. You may like to go to parties while the other likes to be at home. You may be very organized while the other likes to throw things whenever s/he finds an empty space. You may expect the other to do things that s/he dislikes or the other way around, you may be disappointed since the other has a different style of doing things than you. The idea of loving someone is nice but problem emerges once you have to negotiate your personal physical space: look, smell, body language, routines."
"You also need to remember that love is situated in a particular time and space. You need to work on it over and over. You may have reciprocal feeling at a particular moment, but if you take the relation for granted, you may loose the situation that build the feeling."  
"Are you suggesting that love is more than a feeling?"
"Exactly. Love is always manifested in its materiality or practice. Unless you are a chronic saposexual who can be satisfied by one's intelligence, you need to feel comfortable with the one you love."

Monday, June 13, 2016

It's Complicated!

"What do you want? By doing this you may end up hurting many people. Please be firm on what you want."
"Can you be nice to me?"
"With that look you can even ask me to jump from a cliff for you. Do you want me to console you or do you want me to be objective, something that you are lacking these days?"
"I want you to fix my messy life."
"You already know the answer, you just do not want to follow it."
"Yeah, I know. It is just so bloody hard."
"But that's the thing about you. Life comes to you easily. You never apply for a job, there were many people who protected you whenever you made a mistake. You broke up with someone but you can easily find someone else."
"Are you saying that I am spoiled?"
"No, not really. I am just saying that you have particular ways of doing things; ways that invite people to act in certain ways toward you. You may dislike some of them but you have to understand that you contribute to the way they behave towards you."


"Mengapa kini berbeda dengan 8 tahun lampau?"
"Karena tak ada titik. Dulu aku tak membiarkan koma itu tercipta. Ketiadaan yang aku tak tahu harus aku syukuri atau sesali."
"Dan sekarang ketika ada koma, kau bahagia?"
"Entahlah, mungkin aku membuat kesalahan besar dengan menciptakan koma. Jeda itu tercipta karena ada kesempatan, dan ketika mulanya aku menginginkan titik dan mengubahnya menjadi koma, akan ada hal-hal yang terusik."

Friday, June 10, 2016


Since creating an algorithm takes time, it is better to find a shortcut ... A real human being who can fill the void.

Monday, June 06, 2016

Karma (2)

You may have reciprocal love but somehow, your relationship does not work. The universe intersects your paths when both of you are on different stages of life. You may love someone but you love yourself more; you have things that you want to do for yourself before you want to entangle your life with someone else. It is not a matter of compromise or fighting; it is really about finding yourself. Even it means to let go the other person and breaks your own heart as consequence. At the same time, the other person wants to settle down and since you were no longer in the picture, done it without you as the spouse.

Once, I was the former. I had my personal dreams and I broke up with someone who I thought would always be in my life. Today, I am the latter. I want to settle down, while the person I am in love with want to pursue his dreams. Another end, which allows me to have a closure for the first end.


"... What does that mean-- 'tame'?" asked the Little Prince. "It is an act too often neglected," said the fox. ...